Food Explorer T-Shirts

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Before I serve seconds I'd like everyone to take out their phones and complete a short survey rating Barbara's fig-nut stuffing."

'A pregnancy test? Here you are - this bowl is filled with fish, strawberry jelly, cucumber and chocolate sauce. Eat it. If you like it, you're pregnant.'

'The meat has been genetically modified to taste like a more expensive cut.'

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

Accepting change can be challenging

"But from what country?"

"How can you say you don't like that? You haven't even tried it!"

"Come now, Gracie! Squash is a great vegetable...it can be fried, sliced, baked, steamed or boiled...before you refuse to eat it."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

An elderly couple arrive at Kiddie Pool Buffet, where people are wearing swim suits etc. and serving food from the pool itself.

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

Patient at hospital sees hospital cafeteria advertising take-out food.

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

'Sushi - formerly gyros, hotdogs, pretzels, chestnuts.'

Aunt Bess's Entrail Pie, 'it's Offally Good.'

'Daddy, this is Eddie. Eddie's conducting a study on middle class eating habits.'

'We haven't started to learn to cook, we're still learning to thaw...'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

And what would you recommend for a lapsed vegan?

Food Formerly Sold As Milk/Food Formerly Made with Sugar/Food Formerly Known as Meat/Food Former Fried.

"These are the scientists behind some of your favorite preservatives."

"I say it's seaweed, and I say the hell with it."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Like death by salad.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"