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MUM! I've got dinner!

6 Brothers Falafel

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'Is this still America?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

Attack of the 'health' foods

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Pastrami in the wild

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Sorry Sir, you've had enough,'

Hot dogs. Sushi.

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

Hot Rinzelophtats

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

'What the devil is that?

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

"It's all down to turmeric!"

"Haven't you got anything that hasn't been regurgitated?"