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"That Pink Slime I keep hearing about; is that a hamburger or the dessert?"

'Darling where are you getting the burgers from these days?'

"Baldo, if you want good Latino food...all you have to do is ask."

"It's got lettuce and pickle...why can't we call it a salad."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

6 Brothers Falafel

View to the Future

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Menu Dating

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'Is this still America?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

'Hardy I see no chips!'

Haute Chinese

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Bottomless bowl of soup