Food Choice Explorer T-Shirts

"Fish? Chicken? Beef? Then, chocolate it is!"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

See you at the farmers market!

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Your lobster was off!

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'Is this still America?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'I wanted somewhere like England, but in Spain.'

Heart Disease Menu

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

Attack of the 'health' foods

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Pastrami in the wild

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Sorry Sir, you've had enough,'

'listen - it's haute cuisine, coming up the river from New Orleans.'

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'