Alternative Milker Gifts

Almond Milk, Coconut Milk, and Whole Milk.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"They’re real."

Pull the udder one

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

"You had me at alternative milk."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

"Hold your horses! I'm working as fast as I can!

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

Milk...Milk...Anything but MILK!!

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

'Be gentle with me!'

'Alright, who's the wise guy'

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

'If he says 'got milk', I'm gonna bite.

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

Cow being clamped for milk.

'I think you'll enjoy this, Master James... it's sassy but bovine.'

Milk production

'Cold hands, warm heart,' my ass, thought Bessie.

'Sorry, Bessy, cold hands.'

"This is a clear violation of our civil rights."

New Milks

Biker Hell No

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

Free-range tofu.

"It's the only organic lacto-vegan menu I could find that fitted into the firms Christmas meal budget."

"Danny told us you don't eat meat, so we made you a fisherman instead."

Baby feeding frenzy

"Mom, how do you milk an almond?"

No guessed needed to work out what her favourite hobby is?