Altar Boy Gifts

"My parents will come to church again if you switch to rose."

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Oh, yes - BEAUTIFUL singer he was - but could he snap his fingers. . ?"

"Stag poker"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

The Deer of Spring.

"And just what makes you think I use Steroids?"

'I ran into a whittler.'

A businessman with moose antlers sprouting from his hat.

"Can they REALLY be descended from wolves..??"

'Bob, you're spending too much time deer hunting. It's starting to show on you.'

So what else did you get for your birthday?

A baroque elk.

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

'Boy, look at the size of those tracks. I bet he will go 300 pounds.'

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

'Cartoonist thinking'

Bassoon musical instrument.

A man discovers his son has cut off the antlers on his deer trophy to use as arms for his snowman.

'After the break, we talk to a top psychologist about how to interpret your antlers and how their shape can be a window to the soul.'

"I honestly don't know why you didn't make Santa's sleigh team."

'I hear there are some mighty big deer in these woods.'

Nature and Fashion Photographer.

"Mr Shamani co-ordinates boardroom rituals."

'We were forced to leave our last church when some visitors took our seats.'

"You know, Estella's pretty cool."

Rudolph with baubles.

'Don't be late home, tonight's your bath night'

Canada's Mark Carney will be next governor of the Bank of England.

'There's nothing wrong with your antlers, pal, but why not live a little?'