Altar Aficionado Gifts

'We were forced to leave our last church when some visitors took our seats.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Demure lady with gloves

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Pirate

Natural Disasters

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

Homo Gamus

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

Scarpia from Tosca

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Wotan with eye patch

Beer Stall

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Silly wig.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Mikado

Driverless cars rage.