Astro Aficionado Gifts

'I don't get it - this place is too small to have any gravity.'

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

"I've always felt I was a Taurus trapped in a Libra's body."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"God, I HATE this planet..!"

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"That's our new church mascot."

Planting by the Moon.

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

Space shuttle helping to unlock the secrets of the universe.

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"You run into a window, too?"

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

The Suite Hereafter

'Horoscope, stay indoors and keep your mouth shut.' 'So, no dentist.'

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'