Airport Trip Gifts

'This will hurt you more than it will hurt me.'

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Welsh airport arrivals.

Airport

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Disinformation booth.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Airport

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"Hell: The Airport"

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."