Airport Visits Gifts

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'Whenever I feel the urge to travel, I go out to the airport for a couple hours, and that cures it.'

Airport

"We are sorry for the delay in announcing the delay of flight 601"

Mile High Club

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Disinformation booth.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Airport

Mass Travel

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

"Did you pack your own bags?"

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

"At these prices, what do you expect?"

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."