Airport Experience Gifts

A traveller presenting suitcase to a stern customs officer

'I'm not flying anywhere... I'm just here for the pat down search.'

Nude Travels/Nude Scanner.

Airport checkpoints-3

"Did you pack your own bags?"

Airlines

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

The Scanner Of Love.

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Airport

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Disinformation booth.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Mass Travel

Rubbish Carousel

Airport

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"How's my tripping you up?"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

"At these prices, what do you expect?"

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

Pirates on holiday.

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

Mile High Club

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'