Airport Experience Gifts

A traveller presenting suitcase to a stern customs officer

'I'm not flying anywhere... I'm just here for the pat down search.'

Nude Travels/Nude Scanner.

Airport checkpoints-3

"Did you pack your own bags?"

Airlines

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Airport

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Disinformation booth.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Rubbish Carousel

Mass Travel

Airport

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"How's my tripping you up?"

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"At these prices, what do you expect?"

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

Flights suspended snowstorm

Delayed Departure and Late Arrivals

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

Pirates on holiday.

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'