Airport Experience Aficionado Gifts

Nude Travels/Nude Scanner.

'What zip code are we in now?'

Airlines

UK border controls relaxed.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Airport Security.

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Early model of baggage claim"

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Limerick Airport

Mass Travel

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Airport

Airport Bored Rooms

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

Man with backpack discharged on luggage pick up.

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

"How's my tripping you up?"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

Gates A-C: Johnson, Davis, Potts, surprise me!

"Can I interest you in our frequent flyer scheme?"

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"You are going home to Quarantine? What a lovely name for a daughter!"

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'