Airport Aficionado Gifts

'Could you maybe fax a copy of this to my radiologist?'

'There's a fee for each carry on bag, including your bag of potato chips.'

TSA Lines

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'Now, that's just great: We're flightless again...'

"Would you like fuming or non-fuming?"

Rip-off Cabbie

'And of course it's handy for the airport!!.'

"I think that's where he's coming from, mate."

'Now that we've boarded our first class, priority, gold priority, business class, premium and gold star passengers - is there anyone else left?'

"Where aren't you going to?"

"Washington, New York; New York, Boston; Boston, Washington. How was your day?"

Limerick Airport

"False alarm. It's just wanderlust."

'Gate 13'

Airport Prices.

'He's determined to go where his bags go!'

UK border controls relaxed.

Carrion luggage

'Wow, this is the same model we have in school.'

'You said you'd pre-board unaccompanied miners.'

Something To Declare. - "Air safety is a problem and our food is overpriced..."

'I have nothing to declare but my genius!'

Naked man collects his lifes baggage, from the left luggage kiosk.

British Airways - "Enjoy your flight, sir."

"The speed of travel these days is fantastic. I can get from London to Heathrow in under two hours."

"I think you're in the wrong line. You've always got something to say."

Braille Pick Up

"Gimme one for the runway, Lou... then I really gotta get to work."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Airport Security Scanner Sees More Than You Think

"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

Airport Terminal News

"I didn't come to Washington to compromise. I came here because I was bored and rich and I like parking for free at the airport."