Airport Travel Gifts

"I'm sorry, but your make-up exceeds your weight allowance."

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Fight or Flight

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

Airplane Mode.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Disinformation booth.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Airport

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Why Superman flies himself

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

Witch takes off on a runway surrounded by planes.

Man with backpack discharged on luggage pick up.