Airport Trip Pillows

'This will hurt you more than it will hurt me.'

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

The Scanner Of Love.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Airport

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Disinformation booth.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Airport

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

"Hell: The Airport"