Airport Management Gifts

'You know this is going to be the fifth flight this month you've made me miss.'

Carefree luggage.

UK border controls relaxed.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Polluted geese

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

TSA Noah

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

The World's Easiest Airport

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Employee of the Month Parking

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Disinformation booth.

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Limerick Airport

Airport Bored Rooms

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Rubbish Carousel

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

"That's mine. No, wait - I have one that looks just like that."

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'