Airport Operations Gifts

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"I know it saved costs but I still think a flyover would have been better."

Airport traffic

Carefree luggage.

UK border controls relaxed.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Airport Security.

'Where was the TSA?'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

The World's Easiest Airport

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

TSA Noah

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Travelling

Employee of the Month Parking

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

The Scanner Of Love.

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Disinformation booth.

A Little Extra

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'