Airline Representative Gifts

'On behalf of Charter airlines may I apologise again for the delay while the plane is being built.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

Two airplanes

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

'He's still following us, Don.'

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

'Will that be coach?'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

'One carry-on!'

Safest Airline in The World

Christmas Flights

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

The Island Of Lost Luggage.

Deicing on the cake.