Air Travel Awareness Gifts

'Sorry I'm late. My flight was delayed.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Fight or Flight

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

Airplane Mode.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Why Superman flies himself

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

Man with backpack discharged on luggage pick up.

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

Witch takes off on a runway surrounded by planes.

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"Look, honey. Tiny bales of hay."

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

"I think Bev is taking this social distancing thing a little too far."

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport