Air Marshal Gifts

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

'would you prefer a plane with an armed or unarmed pilot?'

Planes copying air marshals.

Leave Your Gun in the Upright Locked Position

Air Marshal Training. You're supposed to be undercover --- Dress like the other travelers. We'll be cops in plane clothes.

'Stop kicking the back of my chair!'

Why nail clipper are not allowed on commercial aircraft.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Hip-hop cops on stage.

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

The Lawman

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'That's for false alarms...'

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"Six fact checkers spontaneously combusting in one election cycle? Yeah, I am starting to see a pattern, Higgins."

"My, it feels good to sit down."

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

Count Von Moltke.