Aviation Admiral Gifts

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Polluted geese

Driverless cars rage.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

'A Vertical Take-off Cow'.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

"My, it feels good to sit down."

Helicopter

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

Horatio Nelson

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

A flighttime story

'Jack Tar' Symbolises Nelson's Victory in the Battle of the Nile

Exempli Gratia.

"Have I ever hugged you, Elkins?"

Portrait of an admiral spying on the nude portrait next to his.

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

'General, You look pale this morning...' - 'I had a nightmare Admiral! I dreamed the war began!'

'Stop kicking the back of my chair!'

Naval Power of England and France

'Martha, my battleship sank.'

"What kind of naval blockade is this?"

'I should tell you that I lied when I said sense of humour was what I look for most in a man.'

'Tower, I'm over the city and low of fuel, but no sweat - I'm dropping my missiles and bombs, which should make me light enough to reach the runway.'

" The 747 from New York I've just spent the last half hour trying to land was a bluebottle."

'would you prefer a plane with an armed or unarmed pilot?'