Pool Admiral Gifts

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

Driverless cars rage.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

'Is the water cold?'

Though both are long retired, his faithful Indian companion continues to dispense sage advice to an increasingly skeptical masked man.

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

Dog playing snooker/pool.

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

"My, it feels good to sit down."

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

Horatio Nelson

Baptism - "Actually he's quite looking forward to it."

The Nautical Step

Bishop playing pool, "I like his unholier than thou attitude."

Portrait of an admiral spying on the nude portrait next to his.

'Maybe if you make it smaller, put something soft on the end and come up with a better name than 'Cue-Tip'...'

Exempli Gratia.

'General, You look pale this morning...' - 'I had a nightmare Admiral! I dreamed the war began!'

"Good news, your yacht club membership has arrived!"

Birds cue ball escape.

"What kind of naval blockade is this?"

Naval Power of England and France

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!