Office Antics Admiral Gifts

"...let me get back to you while I find out how important you are."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"He worked his way up from the mail room...from licking stamps to kissing butt."

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

Office Competitions

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

"Your wife's on the phone...."

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

Horatio Nelson

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

Out and In.

Secretary

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

'General, You look pale this morning...' - 'I had a nightmare Admiral! I dreamed the war began!'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

Exempli Gratia.

"Have I ever hugged you, Elkins?"

'If a raise is what you want, Halverson, a raise is what you get!'