Office Antics Admiral Pillows

"...let me get back to you while I find out how important you are."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"He worked his way up from the mail room...from licking stamps to kissing butt."

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

Office Competitions

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

"Your wife's on the phone...."

Horatio Nelson

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

Out and In.

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

Secretary

The Nautical Step

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

'General, You look pale this morning...' - 'I had a nightmare Admiral! I dreamed the war began!'

'If a raise is what you want, Halverson, a raise is what you get!'

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

"It's wearing a bit thin now, Peterson."

"Have I ever hugged you, Elkins?"