Aviation Admiral Pillows

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Polluted geese

Driverless cars rage.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

'A Vertical Take-off Cow'.

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Helicopter

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

"My, it feels good to sit down."

Horatio Nelson

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

A flighttime story

The Nautical Step

'Jack Tar' Symbolises Nelson's Victory in the Battle of the Nile

Exempli Gratia.

"Have I ever hugged you, Elkins?"

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

'Stop kicking the back of my chair!'

Portrait of an admiral spying on the nude portrait next to his.

'General, You look pale this morning...' - 'I had a nightmare Admiral! I dreamed the war began!'

Naval Power of England and France

'I should tell you that I lied when I said sense of humour was what I look for most in a man.'

"What kind of naval blockade is this?"

'Tower, I'm over the city and low of fuel, but no sweat - I'm dropping my missiles and bombs, which should make me light enough to reach the runway.'

'Martha, my battleship sank.'

" The 747 from New York I've just spent the last half hour trying to land was a bluebottle."