Agriculture Gifts

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'We've had to scale down a few things on the farm.'

Rattlecornsnake

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

"I sometimes wonder if I should have invested so much in the one cow."

'This is gonna sound crazy, but I've got an idea.'

'The traffic wardens around here are absolute b**tards.'

'There are gonna be some changes around here.'

Human population Train.

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'Been really busy, Doctor?'

"What don't you understand? When my clients fly their guests over your farm on the way to Vegas, they'd like to see the words 'Mazel tov, Josh' spelled out in your cornfield."

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

"No, sorry. I couldn't possibly take on another one. I'm short-staffed as it is."

"I've been eating genetically modified corn all my life and I don't see what all the fuss is about!"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Alpaca winning Premium Wool Championship.

Grass is greener.

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"I've never trusted cows."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Farmers and smart looking scarecrow - "I get so much subsidy I don't know what to do with it!"

"You mean pesticides and herbicides aren't the same?"

'Now if you're looking for a tractor that will get out there and get the work done.'

Safety Thing.

"The farm is only looking for someone part-time, no more than 80 hours a week."

A Protractor.

Disraeli's Empty Promises to Agriculture

"...and here I was...only just getting used to being paid for NOT doing things."

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Farmer hoping to reap a decent profit.

"Personally, I don't see what all the fuss is about."

"Do you remember when all we had to do was farm?"

Genetically modified food