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CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

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'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'You've been killing files again.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Secret Service Dogs

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

What security flaw?

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."

"We do have an opening for a whistleblower, but it's only a temporary position."

New York City Santa with huge bag hails cab.

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

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'I don't get it, the company's made money, but I don't see any.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

"Leave the lights burning when you go home. Pass it on."

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

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