Age Defiers Pillows

"Do you have anything for grey, hairs, experience and wisdom?"

'What do you mean 'I'm as healthy as a thirty year old'? I'm only nineteen!'

"I feel the fire has gone out of our relationship."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

"Although 60 is the new 40, for some people 40 is the new 60."

"But how do I look for the age I've told everybody I am?"

"It's not for sale."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

To do before Saturday...

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"You're right, they are statins."

Zoom Wedding

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'If this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever seen.'

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Tragedy and Remedy.

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'IF this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever encountered.'

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

'I want something to make me look younger.'

"It's my 39th birthday, and I'm not dealing with it well. What's wrong with me?"

"I say if he wants to take up ballet, we should let him."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

Gym. Stay young through diet and exercise. I find it much easier to just lie about my age.

'The kid is being tried as an adult. The old man is in his second childhood, so he's being tried as a juvenile.'