Age Defyers Pillows

Detox meets Botox.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"You're right, they are statins."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"You know I hate birthdays!"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'If this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever seen.'

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Tragedy and Remedy.

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

'IF this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever encountered.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'I want something to make me look younger.'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

'The kid is being tried as an adult. The old man is in his second childhood, so he's being tried as a juvenile.'

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

"You should never ask her age unless it's carbon dating."

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'