Age Defier Pillows

"You're fifty-seven years old. I'd like to get that down a bit."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'You're right, you ARE as old as you feel.'

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

Tragedy and Remedy.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"You're over reacting. Everyone gets a gray hair."

'The secret to my longevity? Lying about my age, of course!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

"It appears that while others grow older and wiser, you're just growing older."

"I've had my teeth whitened my vision corrected, my face tightened and my hair implanted. Now I'd like to have my birth certificate changed."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Sometimes I worry about getting old."

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"Well it's not the BEST facelift but what can you expect for $25."

Re-juvenile Delinquents

Middle Age Spread.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'You've grown so old!'

"Will you still offer the seniors discount to someone who won't admit they're a senior?"

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Did you knock?"

"She admits to being 40, but not when."

Methuselah shoots his age.

'If this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever seen.'

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

'I bet my mum's had more 29th birthdays than yours!''

'Cosmetic surgery has made her look a lot younger, but she can't hide her lack of tech skills.'

"Let them recede, then. No one tells me what to do. Especially not my gums."

"One senior and one refuses to accept he's a senior."

"I'm celebrating her turning older than me."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"I spent my thirties doing my twenties, but by the time I was in my forties I was doing my forties."

Fountain of youth. Fountain of intelligence