Afterlife Acceptance Gifts

"Well, Carmen, I must go now... Some of us are working on St. Peter's new gate. It's a lot bigger these days...with more people coming through... You know...because everyone's putting in good words...for everyone still down here..."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

The Reaper's Arms

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Welcome to Heaven. By the way, here's your favorite club you lost on that course 28 years ago.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."