Afterlife Beliefs Gifts

'You're taking my life completely out of context.'

"Well where the Hell are we?"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Call me?"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

'Welcome to Heaven. By the way, here's your favorite club you lost on that course 28 years ago.'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'