Afterlife Acceptance Pillows

"Well, Carmen, I must go now... Some of us are working on St. Peter's new gate. It's a lot bigger these days...with more people coming through... You know...because everyone's putting in good words...for everyone still down here..."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'This is way better than a litter box.'

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."