Aesop's Tale Lover Gifts

"Hey! It was supposed to be a hare."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Fishing Tales

Thomas Hardy

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

Upper West Side Story

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

A Salmon Lie

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

"Why would I sign up for a marathon? Well, Coubertin said it best: "the most important thing is not to win, but to take part"..."