Aesop's Enthusiast Gifts

'On your mark, get set...'

Punctuation Police

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"It's this time of day when I feel most lengthened."

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

"I'd like to make a return."

OOPS!

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

"Why would I sign up for a marathon? Well, Coubertin said it best: "the most important thing is not to win, but to take part"..."

"Oh George, I wish you'd get things in perspective. . .!"

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

'You clumsy ape! I ask for a hemostat and you hand me a banana. Where'd you go to med school, the Bronx Zoo?'

It isn't just the media that's biased...often the voters are too.

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

Franz Liszt

'They're finally taking me seriously.'

Listenin' in

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

A'sk me about my problem with apo'strophe's.

'It was bad enough that he was raised by apes, but then I found out that he swings both ways'

'Hello and welcome to the stupidly hyperbolic awards.'