Ape Enthusiast Gifts

"He's never been very good with his hands."

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

'You must have a lot of recessive genes.'

"We rescued an ape."

"So, how long have you two been in Ghana studying the apes?"

'It was bad enough that he was raised by apes, but then I found out that he swings both ways'

"Luckily there's only one sitting tenant"

'You clumsy ape! I ask for a hemostat and you hand me a banana. Where'd you go to med school, the Bronx Zoo?'

'For goodness sake,Lettica! This is no time to be starting one of your infernal affairs.'

'They're finally taking me seriously.'

Giant ape eating human as advised by diet book

'I'm afraid he's learned another disgusting habit.'

"It's not you..."

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

Tree Passion

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

"See? Look what happened to Ook! - I WARNED you about evolution."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

Way too much anthropomorphising

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

"Now that's just low-down mean."

Musician plugged into amp.

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

"Gerald Beeman? Eighteen years ago you were driving through Connecticut and threw an apple out the window. That apple landed in a field alongside I-95 and . . . well . . . I think I'm your son."