Giant Ape Enthusiast Gifts

'Get my lawyer on the phone. This is not the way you treat a celebrity.'

'Fool me once...'

King Kong goes nine-to-five.

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

Way too much anthropomorphising

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

'Okay, I give up. What's big and black and hairy all over?'

Santa 'Loverboy' Kong

'...so as soon as I seen the old gal havin' trouble calving.;..'

Gargantua's Paris Meals. Four Men are Feeding Him with Mustard (Rabelais).

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

Gorillas in the jungle.

The Origin of Species

'You clumsy ape! I ask for a hemostat and you hand me a banana. Where'd you go to med school, the Bronx Zoo?'

Le Roi Kong

'Oh, he's just my son here for bring your kid to work day.'

Paul Bunyon, Castaway

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

"It seems that I cannot look them in the eye without prompting confrontation..." "What are you lookin' at?"

VETERINARIAN, 'He's lost his appetite,'

VETERINARIAN, 'He's lost his appetite.'

The Giant Guardsman Chapters XI and XII

'I think he wants you to pull his finger.'

'They're finally taking me seriously.'

'It was bad enough that he was raised by apes, but then I found out that he swings both ways'

'Really? A Great Ape? I'm a Great Dane myself...'

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

'The Giants vs. Trolls'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Chelsea of the Apes

"According to my calculations you cannot scale a mouse up to the size of an elephant due to the greater increase in volume relative to surface area...it would burst!"