Big Ape Fan Gifts

'Okay, I give up. What's big and black and hairy all over?'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

Way too much anthropomorphising

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Santa 'Loverboy' Kong

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

'...so as soon as I seen the old gal havin' trouble calving.;..'

'You clumsy ape! I ask for a hemostat and you hand me a banana. Where'd you go to med school, the Bronx Zoo?'

Le Roi Kong

David Ortiz a.k.a Big Papi

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

Gorillas in the jungle.

The Origin of Species

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

"It seems that I cannot look them in the eye without prompting confrontation..." "What are you lookin' at?"

'I think he wants you to pull his finger.'

'Really? A Great Ape? I'm a Great Dane myself...'

VETERINARIAN, 'He's lost his appetite,'

'It was bad enough that he was raised by apes, but then I found out that he swings both ways'

"Thanks Giving."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'They're finally taking me seriously.'

Chelsea of the Apes

'Get my lawyer on the phone. This is not the way you treat a celebrity.'