Ape Aficionado Gifts

Giant Ape assists man escaping a cuckolded husband.

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Pete Sampras

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Driverless cars rage.

Beer Stall

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

Happy thoughts

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'