Avine Aficionado Gifts

Lady feeding birds from her car.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sauvignon Bonk

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

So you're a mocking bird...

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Advocado

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Trickle or Spray!?'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."