Avine Aficionado Gifts

Lady feeding birds from her car.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sauvignon Bonk

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Advocado

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Trickle or Spray!?'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."