Twisted Tale Aficionado Gifts

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

Fishing Tales

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Fishing Boat Derby

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

A Salmon Lie

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

Circus trousers

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

"The true story"

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

"His nose grew every time he lied? That must've taken all the fun out of fishing."

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

'Women don't simply believe everything we hear, you know.' - 'But that does not stop you repeating it.'

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

"This is your great-great-uncle Enchilmo Ladas. We called him 'Enchi' for short."

Paul Bunyon, Castaway

Litigious Bo Peep

A Tale of the Sea

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'