Twisted Tales Aficionado Gifts

“God, no! It’s ripping me apart!!” “The very very hungry caterpillar”

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

Charles Dickens

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"The true story"

Circus trousers

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

Litigious Bo Peep

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

'You just grew three inches.'

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

They're on Twitter and playing Twister! Neat! Twizzler?

'I still don't believe any of that bunk your friend was giving us about hypnosis.'

"Ok this is where we're at, pig 1 house of straw approved! Pig 2, house of sticks, approved! Pig 3, house of bricks, um. . . denied."

"It doesn't help that you have such fond memories of our upbringing."

"Can you come outside and help me. It appears Fido and I have tied the knot... "

"Congratulations. You earned time off for bad behavior."

"Ok, ok, my mistake—twice upon a time..."

"And she's bringing her TWIN!!"

"It's Bo Beep again, she's completely lost it!"

Graham Greene.

'It's not rain!...It's KONG!'

"What powerful growth hormones your taking, Grandma"

God sees his doppelganger in the toiletries aisle.

'Why am I sitting up here so high? Because I have long legs!'

Little Red Riding Hoodie.

Post-Lyme-Tick Fairy Tales

'Well, technically, Eugene, we're not under the mistletoe...'

Basketball team toilets.

'I just don't get the point of this game.'

'...and the axe murderer lived happy ever after...'

'That's not quite what I meant, Rapunzel'