Twist Tale Admirer Gifts

'It's not rain!...It's KONG!'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"Well did he?"

Reasonableman

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

The Final Selfie

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

If Shakespeare were alive today

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

'Well - we are catfish.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

Tall tales and Short stories

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

"Reverse two and a half somersaults with one and a half twists - WOW!"

Writing about scientific progress in 1675, Isaac Newton said " If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." This metaphor is now commonly used to make the point that scientific advances are made using a foundation built by the work of those who came before. That Newton guy was right, you can see further when you're on the shoulders of Giants. I just wonder if he was talking about the players from the football Giants or the baseball Giants. Ernie is a much bigger fan

'The vet did it.'

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs

Kid reading Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' as Dad brings in 'The Three Bears'.

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

'I'm a butcher by trade.'

"It doesn't help that you have such fond memories of our upbringing."

"Ok this is where we're at, pig 1 house of straw approved! Pig 2, house of sticks, approved! Pig 3, house of bricks, um. . . denied."

"Congratulations. You earned time off for bad behavior."

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll leave you to it."

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

"And she's bringing her TWIN!!"

'Wh...what? House of straw? House of sticks? But that was so long ago!'

"Finally a bit of good luck..."

Under Noah's Ark

“God, no! It’s ripping me apart!!” “The very very hungry caterpillar”

"What powerful growth hormones your taking, Grandma"

'I'm warning you! I've got a water ballon here and I know how to use it!'