Twist Tale Admirer Pillows

'It's not rain!...It's KONG!'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Reasonableman

"Well did he?"

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

The Final Selfie

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

If Shakespeare were alive today

'Well - we are catfish.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

Tall tales and Short stories

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

"Reverse two and a half somersaults with one and a half twists - WOW!"

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

'The vet did it.'

Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs

Kid reading Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' as Dad brings in 'The Three Bears'.

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

"Congratulations. You earned time off for bad behavior."

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

"Ok this is where we're at, pig 1 house of straw approved! Pig 2, house of sticks, approved! Pig 3, house of bricks, um. . . denied."

"It doesn't help that you have such fond memories of our upbringing."

'I'm a butcher by trade.'

"And she's bringing her TWIN!!"

'Wh...what? House of straw? House of sticks? But that was so long ago!'

"Finally a bit of good luck..."

Under Noah's Ark

“God, no! It’s ripping me apart!!” “The very very hungry caterpillar”

"What powerful growth hormones your taking, Grandma"

'I'm warning you! I've got a water ballon here and I know how to use it!'

"Hey man—Can I borrow twenty bucks?"