Twin Tales Admirer Pillows

"And she's bringing her TWIN!!"

"No. You can't sue each other for identity theft. . . You're identical twins!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Fishing Tales

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Neptune

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Reasonableman

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

A Salmon Lie

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

Don Quixote knocking over a propeller.

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

Circus trousers

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

Leon Uris.

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

A Tale of the Sea

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'Women don't simply believe everything we hear, you know.' - 'But that does not stop you repeating it.'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'