Story Twist Admirer Gifts

Under Noah's Ark

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

The Final Selfie

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"Are we really gonna do this?!"

Subway Thrillers

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"After several chapters of pushing a boulder up a hill over and over again, I think your average reader will watn to see something else happen, Mr. Sisyphus."

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

If Shakespeare were alive today

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

Snowman Romance

"I think I'm falling in love."

'Yeah, yeah, the ammo is included. ... OK, so remember - anyone asks? You've never seen me before in your life.'

Litigious Bo Peep

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

'Well - we are catfish.'

I've decided to become a mystery writer. "Dark clouds filled the horizon as two young lovers walked along the shore. As if sensing something was about to happen, seabirds cautiously circled around the couple. Suddenly and without warning, the young man reached inside his jacket and pulled out a large bag of pretzels and began to feed the birds." I'm very proud of that opening. The story has just started and it's already filled with twists and terns.

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

'The vet did it.'

"Judging from the position of the body and the blunt trauma evidenced there on the head and neck, it's clear that the weight of all those back issues of the New Yorker came crashing down..."

Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs

"With their short attention spans, we've gone from epic poetry to limericks."

Writing about scientific progress in 1675, Isaac Newton said " If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." This metaphor is now commonly used to make the point that scientific advances are made using a foundation built by the work of those who came before. That Newton guy was right, you can see further when you're on the shoulders of Giants. I just wonder if he was talking about the players from the football Giants or the baseball Giants. Ernie is a much bigger fan

Noah's dove returns with a plunger.

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

"Ok this is where we're at, pig 1 house of straw approved! Pig 2, house of sticks, approved! Pig 3, house of bricks, um. . . denied."

'Wh...what? House of straw? House of sticks? But that was so long ago!'