Advocates Of Justice Humor Gifts

'I was doing fine in court... and then they had to get 'legal' on me.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Judge Mental.'

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

A Judicial Error. (Judge has hit his thumb with his gavel.)

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

'Let's be fair about this, Your Honor -- how can the plaintiff be an objective witness if my client shot him?'

Where legal teams but their outfits.

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

Has anyone ever told you you're beautiful when you adjudicate?

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

"Does this mean that you're ready to cop a plea?"

Prosecutor trying to link parking tickets and library fines with gangland killings.

"And this is the juvenile court."

"Hockersmith & Associates. May we help you?"

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'

Don't worry his majesty with all this talk of 'big city lawyers'.

"I've rented the extra room to an escaped convict - maybe you know him."

"Let's start the polygraph test with an easy question — Are you a good boy?"

'Is it just me or are we showing more leg this year?'

'You can plead 'guilty,' or you can plead 'not guilty' - You can't plead 'no big deal'!'

Three blind mice see personal injury lawyer: 'You've got a water-tight case here.'

"You lucked out -- the grand jury doesn't want to get involved"

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

"I thought legal highs were banned now, Sarge?"

"The witness will not tweet his testimony."

"I'm an athlete the way Buzzy here is an apex predator."