Adult Christmas Fan Gifts

Rudolph the Shit-Faced Reindeer

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Santa's wash day.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Easter Candy Island.

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Last week, stingy caf

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

Santa's elevator

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

Baaaa....humbug.

'Santa's blotto.'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

It's a girl!

'I'll bet my Dad's pants are bigger than yours.'

"It's time we have a little chat."

Rudolph's Half Brother - Dumas the Red Assed Reinmule.

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'

"And the boss says to enjoy the fruitcake."

"I'm the ghost of christmas past due."