Adult Christmas Fan Pillows

Rudolph the Shit-Faced Reindeer

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Santa's wash day.

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

Santa's elevator

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."

Baaaa....humbug.

'Santa's blotto.'

"It's time we have a little chat."

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'

"And the boss says to enjoy the fruitcake."

It's a girl!

"I'm the ghost of christmas past due."

'Hear you're big in logistics.'