Adult Care Gifts

'You've been out of social work for a while. It's vital that you get back up to speed before you start seeing clients.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'Are we broke yet?'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"I had to skip my workout."

Handle With Care

"Did you remember my mints?"

"Careful."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

Peter

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

Policeman talking to lost child

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

Having installed a hydraulically operated wall in their 25-year-old's bedroom...

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."