Adult Care Gifts

'You've been out of social work for a while. It's vital that you get back up to speed before you start seeing clients.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

"I had to skip my workout."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'Are we broke yet?'

"Careful."

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Peter

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

Policeman talking to lost child

"Someone to see you!"